I entered this world clinging to Goodness and Truth woven into every cell of my being. Despite the purpose for which I was made I eventually fell away into the lies that swirled around my innocence until I began to believe them. They became my identity. So do you leave me stranded there stuck in the web of my ego, O’ God? Do you rescue me tho I may be unwilling? This I know….You, are always there. You do not leave the dance floor. You do not move away. You are always, always there waiting to hold me. You are! Of that I am certain. It is I who resist your reach and move further away, believing I don’t need you. I’ve come to believe I can keep afloat in the armor of my wounds.
Your invitation is to escape the slumber of my existence and to live in the sacred flow. You know the cry of my heart. I hear you whisper, “It’s not in the doing, it is in the opening.” You invite me into the sacred silence. You say, “Be still and know that I am God.”
No longer do I shoulder the responsibility of playing god to the world. Instead, I watch the burden of the false self chip away as Love heals and pours over my wounds. As I learn to be gentle with myself, forgiving my ugly ways, and even laughing at my grip, the breeze of your Spirit, refreshes my longing soul. No, I will never do it all right. I will stumble and fall and you tell me it’s o.k. How much more will I know the extent of your Love than when lifted from the depths of my despair? And so it is. Make me the site where love may be born and fill every crevasse of doubt with eternal confidence that nurtures the Call sewn into the very fabric of my being. (Inspired by Psalm 80)