Two years ago I began the journey to become a Spiritual Director, or should I say began training to enhance my calling. No program can make you a spiritual director. The first year (focused on discerning the call) was definitely rough. At times I was pretty certain this wasn't for me and somehow I hadn't accurately heard the "call". However, there was so much I was learning. When I ventured out beyond my own insecurities, I found myself drenched in the vastness of Divine Love, I had found my "tribe". From beautiful wisdom teachers to vulnerable, amazing, and fun co-participants, I knew it was where I belonged!
So where did the time go? I was just settling comfortably into my role as a student and now I'm supposed to do what? I'm sensing there might be more than just inhaling the assurance of who I truly am......the "God in me" part. Apparently it doesn't stop with becoming equipped. Somewhere, I heard it's important to exhale!
And so I shall!!! The vision isn't crystal clear yet. But what I do know is that I am called to be a facilitator for spiritual growth. I'm not there to fix anything or anyone, but to listen, mirror back, and walk with the soul who is on the journey of asking, "Who is God and who am I?". God truly is the only one doing the "directing".
Below is my poem for our final presentation. I'm learning that life can be a beautiful dance. Some times we follow, some times we lead. God isn't judging. God is not disappointed. God is Love. And Love's only invitation is to keep dancing!
My precious daughter….
Why do you struggle, defining who I AM?
Be still. Do you hear the small voice inside you whispering…..”follow me”?
Now is the time….Let the tears flow until each one saturates the wounded heart, the heart abandoned. Let go into the abyss of my Love as I gently lead you to the rhythm of abundant life.
Be still and know...
You are enough, you always have been.
Cherish the darkness, for it is there that you cry out for the Embrace of my Love.
Consider your fear, does my Light not overcome all darkness?
Are you ready? Take my hand…step onto my feet and look into my eyes.
Do I hear you giggling as we waltz together this path of awakening?
Listen! What do you hear? The desperate cry of the woman who was once abused asking, “Where’s God”? The weary soul who can no longer tolerate the dogma of organized religion, asking “Is there more?”
Listen! What do you hear? Is it not your own familiar heart once frightened, confused and alone?
Listen! What do you hear? Could it be the Source of all Knowing directing as you pray….as you listen?
Did I hear you ask, “Who AM I and Who are you?”
I am the One who brought you to the Franciscan program.
I am the One who held you as you struggled with insecurities the first year.
I am the One who surrounded you with loving friends who risked being vulnerable, as well.
I am the One who provided angels who taught, guided and always gave A+'s.
YES! And I AM the One who told you that you are a “Facilitator for Spiritual Growth”.
My precious daughter, may I have this dance, the next and the next?
You can trust Me.
May it be so.